the new column is up: http://www.matchflick.com/column/2078

McFarland has our book up! http://www.mcfarlandpub.com/book-2.php?id=978-0-7864-4490-8

The new Matchflick column is up: http://www.matchflick.com/column/2072

In other news, I got a shout out at the Mondavi center last night. I got to meet Eric Weiner, author of The Geography of Bliss before he spoke. In his speech, he referenced a Karma from Bhutan and said that any day when you get to meet a Karma was a good one and that he’d only been able to do it twice–once in Bhutan and once just an hour before. Yea for making the author a great book on happiness slightly happier!

If you know me at all, you know that I had a break-up this year, followed by some prolonged awkwardness as the ex had to be my roommate for several months afterward. I’m a writer and a blogger (those things are not necessarily the same) and I wanted to blog about my frustrations. I also wanted to blog about rekindling with DJ.

I refrained from this out of respect to my ex/roommate. However, I did make a couple of “I’m irked” posts on Facebook, brief status updates. Among other things, I made a comment about him implying that my life would be worthless without a DVR and that he said something that illustrated he was a bit clueless about how I was feeling about a certain subject (and then there was musing about if he had always misunderstood me in that way).

Now someone claiming to be my friend has emailed the ex and told him that I’ve been bashing him. My few comments have been taken out of context and sometimes completely misrepresented. Apparently, this someone says I said my ex made me feel worthless and that I completely insulted his intelligence. This “friend,” who emailed the ex anonymously, claims that he wants to hear the ex’s side since he seems like a good guy.

He is a good guy. Let’s make no mistake about that. He’s one of the best people I’ve ever dated. He’s generous and gregarious and kind.

And now he’s hurting because of someone trying to . . . what . . . help?

It’s all very middle school. Someone is messing with two people while pretending to be caring. As Denise said, it’s like an anonymous note slipped into a locker–“Your ex was dissing you!”

Whoever this is is not my friend. More likely, it’s a disgruntled ex (there are a few on Facebook and one who isn’t my friend on Facebook but who likes to hack into my accounts and cause trouble every now and again). If you think you’re my friend, but you don’t have the balls to tell me what you think of my posts and you go behind my back misrepresenting my posts, then you’re fooling yourself about our relationship.

To my real friends: I have been irritated with each and every one of you. And I have vented about each and every one of you to some of the others of my friends. I’m sure you can say the same.

I’m also certain that my ex has expressed his displeasure about me–he thinks I’m impatient and illogical and a few other things. But whatever he’s said about me doesn’t need to be passed on to me unless he’s actually slandering me in some public way. (Slander, for those who aren’t following the legal distinctions, is lying about someone in a way that could completely ruin their reputation, as opposed to venting).

My ex would never slander me, however, as he’s a wonderful person. In fact, as a person, he’s probably a better person than I am in most ways.

Whoever’s causing this trouble would probably say that I’m the cause of it because I vented. I do take responsibility for that. I did, after all, complain a little and it’s possible to make see harmless complaints as something more than they are. I am certain that the vast majority of my friends saw these posts for what they were–an outlet for frustration, not an out and out attack on my ex.

However, if this person had a problem with them, they should have talked to me or posted comments under my comments in the spirit of open communication. If they did still feel the need to talk to the ex, they should have done so in a non-anonymous way.

Two messages: To my ex, I’m deeply sorry about this.

To my supposed Facebook friend: you should unfriend me. I suggest friending all of those whom I’ve been irked with in the past (after all, with Facebook and my stand-up, I express irritation all the time). Some things to friend: every single person I’ve been on a date with, the South, homophobia, and yourself.

is here: http://www.matchflick.com/column/2053

Well, I have to be honest and report that very few things have actually left the house. I don’t want to throw away all of the useful things that I’m trying to detach myself from.

I’ve managed to consign a few things to the trash bin–chipped coffee mugs, underwear with holes. The rest of my things are in piles–books to be sold somewhere, jewelry that needs to go somewhere, clothes that can be donated.

I’m trying to remember the wise things I tell my students–that the best things in life make us happy and are useful. While it’s useful and happy to have a lot of books, for instance, each book does not necessarily share that status. I also keep asking myself–do I want to pack this and then unpack this later?

In other news, the job search is on. Pickings are slim and I’m anxious to the point of fleeting attacks. Whatever happens, this is going to be a year of great transition. I have a lot of absolutely wonderful things to look forward to.

All the more reason not to look back on a pile of things weighing me down. I would hate to turn to salt.

you can read it here: http://www.matchflick.com/column/2037

Well, the book is submitted to the publisher, and it’s time to think about other things. I’m going to be moving sometime next summer (whether in town or out of town, it will be somewhere), so I need to think about all this crap I have.

When I teach writing, I advise my students to cut ten words per page. Tighter writing is stronger and I do this exercise myself. It can be painful, especially to more inexperienced writers, but it’s necessary.

Starting now, I am getting rid of ten things per week. They may be small, they may be big. Some things will be tricky–does one piece of paper out of a file count–should it be part of a long stapled document–does it have to be the whole file?

Food doesn’t count, nor do things I have that belong to other people (unless perhaps I’ve had them so long that the original owner never thought they’d get them back).

If I bring in new things (as I did yesterday–mostly socks and underwear), I have to cancel that out by getting rid of an equal number of things that week.

By the end of the quarter, I will be at least 100 things lighter, though it probably won’t show, as those things will likely simply appear from the backs of closets.

For the first week, ending yesterday, I got rid of books (actually, I haven’t actually had them leave yet, I’m not sure how I want to do that).

Cutting books is an extreme way to cut words out of my life, but I have to think about boxes and lifting and simplicity.

Anyone want to take the challenge with me?

My new column on pirates and pirate movies is up:  http://www.matchflick.com/column/2029  The book is due in eight days and so I can’t blog or think or clean the house or anything . . .

First, happy Labor Day! Remember that the whole idea of the weekend and days off came (due to industrialization first) from labor unions. We generally have time off and no child labor and safety and all kinds of things because of people who fought for it.
Of course, there are crappy union moves. But there are more crappy corporations who would sooner let their workers die than treat them well. And that kind of power only responds to workers uniting.
As a teacher and a writer, I don’t have days off in the traditional sense. I’m going to be writing today.
Didn’t get much done yesterday. I woke up feeling like my life energy was completely gone. I didn’t even have the energy to eat much good sushi. I don’t really understand days like that, but they happen every once in a while.
Off to write.