Alexander and I left our house for the San Francisco airport at 9:30 Tuesday morning. We touched down in Helsinki at 5:30 Wednesday afternoon. Yup; long trip. (The Amsterdam airport has a children’s forest, a museum, a library, and an unhelpful clerk at the electronics store.)

Getting around the city is easy. Finnish has two official languages–Finnish and Swedish (cause the Swedes used to own us). In practice, though, everything is labeled at least thrice, with English underneath the other two languages. Some shops have completely English names, and we have yet to meet anyone who doesn’t speak it. Still, it feels the same level of foreign as Madrid did.

Once we put the stuff down in our rooms, we headed out to a traditional Russian restaurant in search of bear, which the boy wanted to try. They were sold out, so we had reindeer instead. I think we both would have enjoyed it more if we weren’t so exhausted. We got home at nine, and it was time for bed.

Today began with a breakfast buffet filled with interesting choices. Then I headed off to my conference while Alexander went to the zoo. The other participants, at least the ones I saw, were all reading their papers while seated. I stood and spoke with a few lines of notes and a colorful powerpoint. My topic? The Simpsons. People seemed to enjoy my presentation; they were awed at my being allowed to teach The Simpsons. Many said their nations (European ones) were too puritanical to allow the teaching of pop culture.

It was strange. I teach and write about pop culture so often; I’m even an editor of The Journal of Popular Culture. I’m just not used to having to explain or defend its use in the classroom, so it was invigorating to be challenged to do so. While some of my European colleagues were slightly incredulous about what I get to do, others were just clearly envious.

After my talk, I took myself and my growing headache down to the pier to meet the boy. On the way, I saw a diplomatic ceremony with a military band honoring visiting dignitaries. The boy caught up with me in the market, where we had a great lunch from a stall. I had what tied the previous best salmon of my life; it was so perfectly seasoned and fresh that I didn’t reach for the salt (and those who know me know I always reach for the salt). The boy had reindeer sausage. The American couple behind us in line had a loud conversation about how the wife would not be having reindeer, as she was convinced it would taste “weird.”

We then toured the Russian Orthodox cathedral and headed west to a converted church that’s now a disco. It’s supposed to be named after the boy’s namesake (Dante), but the sign wasn’t out front, so we couldn’t get a picture. We stopped in at a British pub and continued our ridiculous quest for souvenirs. Mom wants a long-sleeved t-shirt, which doesn’t seem to exist here. And I’m not buying a sweatshirt (50$!; everything is extremely expensive here). Wish I didn’t have to spend any time shopping.

At last, we ended up at a guidebook-recommended traditional Finnish restaurant. It was beautiful, with traditional dress & carved wood everywhere (even the menu was mounted in thick wood). I had a champagne cocktail with Finnish berry liquor. Then I had a Karelian stew (mashed potatoes, excessively tender meat, and pickled pumpkin/berries). The boy had bear meatballs with root vegetables in an amazing sauce that we couldn’t quite identify. Dessert was a Finnish brandy and “sisu” ice cream over summer berry compote.

Sisu is a word with no translation–it is supposed to be the aspect of Finnish character–it’s our stubbornness, our steadfastness, our loyalty, our perseverance.

In terms of ice cream, it’s a slight anise flavor (apparently).

So. Good.

But the brandy made my eyes water when I smelled it. I got the same shiver from just inhaling that I thought would come from drinking it. Alex said it smelled like apples. It did, if you marinated apples in gasoline–it was very strong.

The boy was so jet lagged and so tired from walking all day that he literally nodded off at the table. So here we are back at the hotel, with him asleep and with me writing this.

Where conditioner should be in the bathroom, there’s lingonberry bubble bath. Am tempted to try it.

(Still can’t upload pics; will make a facebook album at some point, though.)

I’ve been a very naughty blogger. The summer has gotten away from me, and what with all the work and the play, I’ve fallen behind.

Here’s a short catch up:

I haven’t managed to stop teaching at all. I’ve had three classes this summer (including a new one: 20th Century British Literature: Sex and Science), which means hours and hours of lecture, lots of grading, and a total of 26 book length works that I’ve had to read along with the students. This week will give me a bit of a break, but on the condition of trying to be brilliant at a conference.

I’ve managed to catch up with some old friends and to make some new ones. Most of the best stuff this summer was simply being with other people.

I cooked a lot. Had cocktails with Vanessa and Kevin a lot (while watching the HBO summer shows). Went wine tasting with Pat a couple of times. Hit Bodega Bay finally and filled my senses with the glories there. Spent quite a few weekends in San Francisco.

I’ve edited my first edition of Prized Writing–it will be at the bookstore at UC Davis soon.

I got to see Weird Al Yankovic perform twice in the same weekend (and got a picture with him!) His performance was stunning as always!

Got to see Steve Martin perform with the Steep Canyon Rangers at Mondavi–the banter was funny and the music was amazing.

Few movies and few plays, but I did get to see War Horse for my birthday (as part of my outstanding birthday weekend) — it’s difficult to describe the beauty of the horse puppets that make this show come alive. It was three puppeteers for each lead horse, with movements so real that I flinched whenever they were hurt. You could even tell when the horses were upset by the way they were breathing.

Noel Coward’s famous Blythe Spirit was on at Cal Shakes. Coward’s writing is still crisp, clever, and relevant.

The biggest news, however, is that the boy is now driving himself to school. His aunt Melissa basically gave him her old car. I put some money in to fix it up, taught him how to drive without either of us getting hurt, and put him on my insurance. His classes have started, so he’s out on the causeway twice a day. Wish him luck and patience.

He’s off to the conference with me; I’ll let you know how we do in the land of our ancestors.

(Would have included pictures, but the picture uploader is broken again . . .)

So this week, I packed my Zuul costume and too much eyeliner and headed down to Comic-Con. So did 149,999 other people (well, not the zuul part). I managed to make it out in time to get into preview night, where I saw my friends Scott Shaw and Lonnie Millsap. I was also able to talk to the artist for Kill Shakespeare (one of the writers, Anthony, is skyping in with my class this next Wednesday).

Karma & Scott

Then, on the way home, I was lured in to a downtown restaurant by a live rockabilly band.

So it was a good start. I won’t give you a day by day play by play, as it’s all a bit of a blur now, but here are the highlights.

1. Margaret Atwood was here for a Bradbury retrospective panel. Naturally, when she walked past me in the hall, I caught up to her to get a picture. I lovingly reminded her that I edit her journal and that I used to be her Society’s president. I hoped she didn’t think I was weird for being dressed as Death. I also completely ignored the two relatively famous authors with her, except for when I requested that they take our picture:

2. One of the times I wandered over to the Bongo booth (which I do once a day whenever they’re near), Matt Groening was there! Now, I’ve met several Simpsons/Futurama people (and I love my Bongo guys), but I’d never met the big man. So I got Nathan Kane’s (the new exec whom I’d just met the day before) attention and got him to take a picture of us. Nathan was very patient and Matt remembered something I’d left at the studio for him a year ago. I thanked him profusely for my entire academic career and successfully didn’t wet myself.

3. The Simpsons panel: Did I get to see the new Maggie short? Did I miss the Futurama panel due to the absurd line? Was Carrie Fisher briefly on stage? Yes. Yes. Yes.

4. Zach was there! When I flipped through the program the first time, I didn’t see Zach Weinersmith (of SMBC fame)’s name, but he was there! Zach has spoken to my class and to UCD at large. His work is hilarious, and it’s always nice to see him. Alexander is going to be totally jealous (the sign says “hi, Alex”)!

5. I got to see Joss Whedon! Okay–I’m not one for standing in lines, but I did get in line for The Simpsons and for Joss Whedon. I mean, I’ve given three different presentations this year on Joss’s work, so I had to go. Joss is hilarious. He riffed on how he’s his own favorite production company (he really gets what he’s trying to do), threatened to murder some guy’s family (after the guy said killing our favorites appeared to be Joss’s thing), talked about being a girl who can’t say no when it comes to projects (don’t think anyone else in the room got the Oklahoma reference), complained about the lack of strong women in the media and female action figures all looking like porn stars, and asserted that our country was no longer about blue and red–it’s about people who believe in the dignity of themselves and others and wackos who believe Jesus personally founded America.

6. I got to dress up. As Death: And as Zuul: That guy totally tried to drink my margarita:

7. I got to be in the same room as the following people at some point (besides those I already mentioned): Joe Magtegna, Yeardley Smith, Romo Lampkin, Joe Hill, Kristin Bauer van Straten, Sarah Wayne Callies, Anna Torv, Lucy Lawless.

8. There were protestors! Yes, apparently people who love Jesus don’t love Comic-Con. As someone dressed alternately as one of the Eternals and a Babylonian demi-god, I tried not to start a fight. I did, however, note to myself that there are people starving in San Diego right now who probably could have used some help if someone actually wanted to enact WWJD stuff.

9. Saw some awesome panels and things on the floor. The highlight, of course, was Scott Shaw’s presentation of wonderful sex, drugs, and rocknroll covers. One example:

Our panel on Superman (my particular talk was on Mark Millar’s Red Son) went well. One of the first people I met introduced himself as a Tea Party member and said we might not get along. I said that the text merely indicated that we needed to put aside ideology to find pragmatic solutions to our problems. He smiled and nodded, but left halfway through. The rest of the audience seemed to grok me, however.

10. People were in awesome costumes!

On my way to class

to teach people how to write

with style

to unlearn bad habits

where I try to make everything

a story

& then I see the blood

smudged all over one hand

from where I’ve unconsciously

picked at my thumb

I didn’t feel anything

but I can’t teach

visibly bloody

so I lick the wound like an animal

test to see if it wells again

walk into class

knowing

the blood under my fingernail

will darken all morning.

There are two main teaching buildings at UCD. The bathrooms in both are abysmal. Out of toilet paper on Monday at noon? Of course!
However, one stall makes up for it. In fact, the other day, when I discovered the stall was taken, I considered waiting for it even though all the other ones were open.
What makes it so special?
The Doctor Who graffiti.

It occurs to me that if anyone noticed I was taking pictures in the bathroom stall, they probably thought I was crazy. I’m not crazy (for doing that).

That’s right–Boston!

I’ve been living in this country for well over three decades now, but I’d never been to Boston before this month, when I went for the PCA/ACA convention (I’ll be there again in January for MLA).

I’ve always enjoyed PCA/ACA, and this year promised to wonderful as well because my friend Melissa was going with me and we’d be meeting up with our grad school buddy, Maura.

George frigging Takei was the keynote speaker for the conference this year, but I didn’t get to see him. As big a trekkie as I am (hell, as big a Takei fan as I am), it hurt to miss it.

However, I had to stay behind in Davis an extra couple of days because the fabulous Sherman Alexie was here. Alexie’s book, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, is our campus book project this year. As a member of the selection committee and planning committee and as an Alexie groupie (that’s really the only word for it), I couldn’t leave.

So, okay, I didn’t get to see Takei speak, but I got to moderate a panel on the Mondavi stage with Alexie, to go to a gala dinner in his honor, to see his big talk at Mondavi, to have him speak to the writing students (mostly mine) in a private q&a, to be the momentary object of his flirty nature, to get his autograph, and to wipe a little dried shaving cream off his face before one of the events. I doubt that I would have been able to get my spit/DNA on George Takei.

The trip to Boston was long, but Melissa and I made the most of our time there. We went on an awesome Trolley tour and learned a lot about revolutionary history–including the correct version of some mythical events.

We went into Faneuil Hall, an old meeting house/assembly room. My favorite picture is this one–surely the painter was not actually a fan of General Washington. 

We got to have some amazing fish chowder at the Union Oyster House, which is the oldest continuously functioning restaurant in all of the United States. When we asked the very friendly oyster-shuckers for a picture, they brought out a giant lobster.

We also got to take a walk around Harvard. The buildings were beautiful, but this is what I took pictures of. Lobster is a big thing in Boston, but I still find it hilarious that it’s not a taco truck that pulls up for the Harvard students–they’re getting lobster! 

Finally, we had a great dinner at Jacob Wirth, an ancient German restaurant with a great beer selection and wonderful sausages (if not wonderful German potato salad).

We also saw the bar front that served as the establishing shot for Cheers. 

The conference itself went well. I missed Melissa’s panel to play with Alexie, but I got to see Maura’s panel on Clue. My own panel was on Whedon (I was discussing the Reavers in Serenity/Firefly), so naturally the audience showed up. The two other panelists on my panel did not arrive, however.

For a moment, I was nervous, but then I decided to stand right in front of the audience and to take the room. Luckily, the audience was interested in my ideas, and we had a good conversation. (And Maura even noticed that I was wearing a quasi Zoe costume to deliver the paper.)

A few regrets. Didn’t got to a Doctor Who thing that I should have. Got cornered by a furry who fixed my ignorance (I thought it was only a sex thing) but who didn’t understand that I wasn’t in the mood for a two hour lecture on the subject. Didn’t book the hotel early enough to get the conference rate for the last night.

But that’s okay–I’ll know what to do in January!

I mean, sure, I’d been to WonderCon before. Regular readers will remember that it was at WonderCon that I got a picture taken with Adam Baldwin and ended up in a commercial for Kick Ass.

But this year was different–this year I was invited, invited to give two presentations at the Comics Arts Conference running concurrently at the festival. This was thus the year that I dubbed myself the geek queen and ended up interviewed for two publications: http://www.comicsbulletin.com/main/interviews/karma-waltonen-geek-queens-tale & http://blogs.ocweekly.com/heardmentality/2012/03/wondercon_pick_the_simpsons_in.php

This was the year I dressed up.

What exactly happened at my three full days of geek joy? Well, I packed up the boy, made a couple of powerpoints, brought my zuul costume, and let my geek mojo out. The highlights:

Alexander getting mistaken for my lover (which was not a highlight for him, but was damn funny).

Hanging with Aussies not associated with the conference at the bar. Note how I’m the only one supposed to be in costume, but how Steve, a reporter, still manages to pull one off on the fly:Alexander closing down the bar with the Aussies & I.

Hanging out with our friend Lonnie Millsap (http://www.lonniemillsap.com/) & having him introduce us to some of his comic friends.

Seeing the other costumes:

Meeting so many of the Bongo Comics (Simpsons & Futurama) people: Terry Delegeane, Max Davison, Art, Jason Ho, Bill Morrison, Carol Lay, and Scott Shaw. Having a nice long conversation with Scott about comics–one that we plan to continue. Finding out how many relatives of Terry’s have gone to UCD.

Walking up to Terry on the day I was dressed up and complaining that no one knew who I was.

Terry: I know who you are.

Me: No–not who I am. No one is supposed to know who I am. My costume.

Terry: Well, I don’t know what your costume is supposed to be, but I know who you are.

Running into some ghostbusters:

Following a former Simpsons background artist back to his unmarked van because he wanted to give me his card. He threw in a Homer drawing to make it worth my while, but I did tell Alexander that under normal circumstances, one should never be lured to a van to see someone’s etchings.

Seeing a preview of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer and trying to convince the boy that the film would work better with period music.

Ordering in a Papa Johns pizza and watching The Simpsons on the last night.

Finding the flirtiest, sexiest bartender ever & getting him to bring in a very large cucumber just to make me my favorite drink (one that no bartender in Davis even knows, btw).

Having a guy at the bar buy me my favorite drink, although I wasn’t sure at first what was happening–I’m not usually as attractive as I seem to be at WonderCon.

Meeting another hardcore and apparently psychic Futurama fan.

Giving two presentations that went relatively well, if I do say so myself.

Meeting Anthony Del Col, the awesome co-creator of the Kill Shakespeare series. Having him say it was cool to meet me & actually meaning it:

The least cool thing about WonderCon? I didn’t take enough pictures.

I still need to blog WonderCon (though I’m not sure if that will happen here or at www.matchflick.com).
It is, however, finals week. So far this week, I’ve been to WonderCon (where I gave two presentations & made new friends), graded 100 papers, turned in grades for two classes, and prepped one class that’s starting in a few days. Still undone:
about 25 more papers
final grades for two classes
prepping for three more classes starting in a few days
unpacking from WonderCon/making my house look like it’s not actually reflective of my mental state
writing two presentations I’m giving in the next two weeks

rehearsing said two presentations
packing for another conference
various bill paying/life must keep going stuff

Still, in the last blog, I promised you pictures of my nephew, the most adorable child in the whole world (I can say that now that my child is an adult). With the monkey, with me:

With Denise & in close up:

I usually manage to juggle the various commitments in my life rather well. Last night, however, while trying to fall asleep, I made the mistake of confronting my schedule for the next week five weeks. Three conferences, the end of one quarter, the start of another, a special lecture for the book project, hosting an amazing author, bunches of writing, bunches of grading, and all the rest of life. I’m fearing that something’s going to give–sanity, sleep, something . . .

And that’s why I haven’t had the time to write everything I want to here. I want to write all about my adventures at AWP and about being the nerd queen.

There isn’t really time to do it all justice, but I want to give it a few minutes.

Margaret Atwood was the keynote speaker at AWP this year. I got VIP seating due to my Atwood history and ties.

Atwood is my hero and I wish I could just transcribe the whole talk for you. The highlights: she mentioned the Atwood Society (of which I’m the former President). She was warm and funny. She made one of the best observations about the state of some young writers today: “If you want to be a writer, but you don’t want to read, then you don’t actually want to be a writer. You want people to come sit near you while you tell your sob story.”

Denise and I were able to go see Tiffany, Ben, and the new baby (Jack) while I was in Chicago as well. Now, I’m not really a baby person. I loved my own baby, of course, but I can resist the charms of others most of the time. Jack is different. I had an annunciation dream at the moment he was born. He’s also a particularly adorable and good-natured darling. Thus, I held him for so many hours that my pecks hurt when I got home. Denise kept having to demand him from me. I would post pictures, but a) I haven’t transferred them from the camera and b) I somehow look awful in every shot. Denise looks awesome, though, so I’ll eventually get around to sharing the pics of her holding him.

Finally, I’ll be heading to WonderCon this week. I’ll be giving a talk on The Simpsons on Friday and a talk on Buffy comics on Sunday. My consequent nerd/geek queen status has been verified and immortalized here: http://www.comicsbulletin.com/main/interviews/karma-waltonen-geek-queens-tale

Remember to catch up with me at my column at matchflick.com. I’m also on Twitter now (@KarmaWaltonen).

Also, be sure to check out The Simpsons tonight–Homer’s going to say my first name (and call me names, too!).