This is the one week until December that I won’t be teaching. It’s the first such week of the year.
The first three weeks of my first session summer class are loaded onto Canvas. The handouts and activities have been adapted for optimal online learning.
The cat videos are loaded into the weekly wrap-up pages.
But I can’t just rest this week. There’s admin work to do, three medical appointments, including an endoscopy, trying to get my fence cat-proofed because one neighbor doesn’t like Thoth, . . .
Still, I am committed to only working half-days.
My problem, though, is how bad I am at relaxing. My workaholism has a big list of things for me to do. Even when I can convince it to let me read or watch tv, it has certain ideas.
“You should watch the foreign films in your DVR, since you usually can’t give yourself time to focus on what you’re watching.”
“You need to catch up on your New Yorkers. Do one a day while you can.”
“You should watch at least one stand-up special a day, even if you’re not in the mood, for research.”
I feel weird when I’m not working or crossing something off a list.
It’s pathological, and over the years I’ve gotten better at fighting it, but I still have to remind myself that I’m not doing anything wrong if I’m not being productive, that I don’t need to justify tv time by doing the most difficult physical therapy exercises while I watch.
This last quarter, I was by necessity glued to my computer–and I will be again next week.
I decided to take Sundays off from school work.
The boy says he thinks it’s doing me good, so I’m going to keep trying.
