This* is why it’s not a good idea to answer everybody.
And it’s the end of a very short lived experiment, in which I called guys on it when I didn’t think they’d read my profile, which indicated that I will only really answer when someone has a filled out profile, has answered questions, says more than hi, etc.
What happens below is sad.
A guy messaged me. His profile was mostly blank, but did indicate that he was a smoker who wanted kids. He had only answered a couple of questions, one of which said “jealousy is healthy in a relationship.” Another indicated that his Christian faith was important to him.
Him: Hi nice meeting you
Me: I don’t think you read my profile. 🙁
Him: A writer university teacher [these are basically the first three words of my profile]
Anyway I like your profile
I we like to no little more about you if you don’t mind
Me: It just didn’t seem like you read it cause I talked about what made me likely to answer and what I was looking for.
I don’t date smokers, and I’m not having more kids, so we seem incompatible.
Him: If because of you I we stop smoking I like the food you like can you just be honest and be real to me babe..
Me: I am being honest.
I’ve had guys say they’d quit for me before. It’s never once happened.
And I am not having more children.
And your profile is mostly blank.
And I’m an atheist while god is extremely important to you.
And I don’t think jealousy is healthy in a relationship.
I’m not seeing compatibility here.
Him: Babe I we never quit Whit you I promise I we be real and honest with you I’m different form the other guys
Babe do you have hangout or kik so we can talk better..
Me: I don’t have those apps, and I’m not interested in talking to you more. Your profile information doesn’t give much information, but the little information it does give me signals that we’re not compatible.
Him: Babe you free to ask anything you Wanna no about me
I’m new here that why but anything else you ask I we answer you
Me: It seems like we’re having a basic communication problem here.
You are interested in me because of my pictures and what I wrote on my profile; thus, you want to know more about me.
I’m NOT interested in you because you basically have a blank profile.
Go back and read my profile down at the bottom again about what I’m looking for:
“I’m only likely to answer if you’ve answered plenty of OKC’s questions (I don’t want to have to ask you if you’re jealous, if you’re homophobic, if you don’t believe in dinosaurs, etc. when OKC can ask you for me), if you have a picture, if you’ve said more than just “hi”/”good morning”/etc. in your message, and if you’ve filled out your profile with more than “ask me” or the equivalent.”
Him: Babe am new in OKC so I don’t no more about it I we be very happy if you can put me true in this app a friend told me about it that he meet is future wife here and the wife is honest humble trust and she have respect that why am here too for real trust humble women that we can understand each other…
Me: And I hope you find the right person for you, but I don’t think I’m it.
You need to find someone you have things in common with.
Or at least someone who doesn’t mind blank profiles.
Him: Since I go true your profile am very happy you are God sent to me
My dear what Can do about my profile that’s blank I do anything to make me be real and honest with you
Me: My profile says this: “You should message me if you are liberal (especially socially), smart, sexy, secure in yourself, funny, appreciative of smart and funny women, and a nonsmoker.”
I don’t think you’re what I’m looking for.
Him: Babe if that’s all what you want am interesting with it and I love movies too…
Me: You are not a nonsmoker.
You have not indicated that you are smart, funny, sexy, or liberal.
I don’t think you’re secure in yourself based on this conversation and on the fact that you think jealousy is healthy in a relationship.
It’s also a turn-off to say “God sent you to me” to an atheist.
Him: Sweetheart all this is your favorite thing and I do more then you smart, funny, sexy,nonsmoker, I told you I don’t no. more about OKC I don’t no what jealousy mean in relationship my dear if you don’t like someone jealous in relationships I accept with you dear….
I what you to come into my life and make it a wonderful world to live in…
My dear like am having special feelings for you right now
Me: You don’t know anything about me.
I think you like my pictures.
Him: My love you we tell me more better about yourself
But I love everything about you I love all your pictures, I love your profile I we like to be honest with you so I we be proud of you dear…
So my princess, what’s your name and I we like to see more of your love pictures and to share my own with you…
Me: I’m going to end this conversation.
I have politely told you that I’m not interested–SEVERAL times.
Nothing you have said in these messages has sparked my interest.
The last few messages–about special feelings, about god sending me to you, and calling me your love–have creeped me out.
I do really hope that you find the right person for you.
Here’s some advice about finding that person:
1. answer more questions on OKC. Most women won’t answer unless you’ve answered at least 50.
2. put some more information in your profile–be specific. Lots of guys say they’re looking for honesty. It doesn’t make you sound interesting or unique if you just give a general sentence or two.
3. When you send a message, say something specific–ask about something a woman has said she’s interested in on her profile, for example.
4. Don’t start sounding like you’re obsessed, especially if a woman says she’s not interested.
Best of luck to you in your search.
[And then I blocked him.]
*This is from quite a while ago.
You are far more patient than most would have been with a clown like that. Perhaps his rather tenuous grasp of the conventions of the English language was an early clue, as well, that he wasn’t Mr. Right?
Just reading this exhausted me! I can’t imagine actually being involved in this exchange. For the sake of your own sanity, I hope you end the calling guys out experiment soon.