This entire conversation was awful, but see if you can spot the line that most made me go, “eww . . . what?! . . . eww!”
Him: Did you cry when Trump won?
Me: Yes. Many times. What about you?
Him: It didn’t really matter to me which pig got voted into the farm house.
[I decide not to answer. Two days later.]
Him: Feel like wine and a movie tonight?
Me: No, thanks.
I have to confess: I’m very sensitive about the election. I know too many people who are a lot more vulnerable right now. Thus, the pig reference just didn’t sit well with me.
I hope you find someone more carefree and that you have a great evening!
Him: You don’t see Animal Farm going on before your eyes?
Me: I think a lot of absurd things happen in politics, but I don’t at all think Clinton as President vs. Trump as President is any kind of equal threat to me, to the environment, to my students, etc.
Him: Keep thinking that. But in the meantime, there’s this warm man over here who would like to pur his arms around you if you change your mind.
Me: I’m not going to change my mind. I cried with the trans student I mentor after the election. I’m working with my department to take action to protect our muslim students and our dreamers. I’m fighting for my students to have access to birth control and abortions. I’m fighting for free speech and scientific literacy. A few years ago, I moved my disabled aunt to California so she could get access to care because she was literally dying in a Republican state that rejected the part of Obamacare that would cover her. I could go on, but I’ve got way too many papers to grade today.
Look, I’m sure you’re a decent person, but you’re not the person for me. And I’m not at all desperate, so I don’t have to settle for just a warm body. 🙂
I hope you find someone beautifully suited to you and wish you all the best.
Him: Ok, good luck to you too
[Eight days later]
Him: Surprised you haven’t left the country yet
Me: It’s not going to get fixed that way.
Him: Ok, so you’re going to fix it?
Me: Are you meaning to be hostile right now? Since I don’t know you, I’m not sure how to read this conversation.
Him: Nope…remember, I’m an INTJ [he’d mentioned that in his profile, and was counting on me to have assigned meaning to it]
[I decide not to answer. Several hours go by. This next one gets sent in the middle of the night:]
Him: I want you to connect and bond with me.
Me: I’m not interested in that.
Him: That’s really unfortunatw
Okay, reader. You saw the whole thing. Which part icked you out most?
“warm man” is pretty icky, but my money’s on “I want you to connect and bond with me.”
Ding ding ding!