Why Can’t I Find An Easy Going Guy?
A small selection of the beginning of the profiles I’ve seen in the last couple of days:
I’m a very easy going, alway happy, love being outside enjoying the fresh air and sunshine. Love going to new places. Really enjoy going on walks or bike riding. Spending time with family and friends.
I am a calm easy going guy who believes in the golden rule. I treat people with respect. I like to keep busy and unwind when not working.
Hi my name is [x] ,Im easy going fun to be around,I like to cook ,I like to be around positive people ,who care about people. life is to short ,so i try to be a good example to my two boys.WE have a great relationship,I lead by example.Respectful hard working and clean.
You’ll find that I’m fun and easy to be around. I like to stay in synch with the flow of the moment. I love to laugh, adore the excitement of adventure, and take great delight in life’s simplest pleasures ,honest, and caring. I am a passonite and loyal person with a great sense of humor! ( Humor makes the world go around )
I’m easy going, fun and friendly, loving and caring , looking for someone to share my life with , laugh with,laughs that could be so hard to make you cry. lol. Looking for that one time connection. Looking for home.
I am easy going and love to have fun!
I’m easy going, laid back and loyal and am in search of the same. I am looking for a partner. Not a mother or a daughter. Mean girls and liars need not apply.
Easy-going guy looking for connection with the right lady.
I’m an easy going guy, looking to share experiences and fun times. I enjoy good company with a chat, on the couch, or out and about. I’m looking for someone to help when I need, a sense of humor and can challenge me.
I deleted a bunch more of these. Note that, most of the time, this is all the guy says about himself.
I wish I could hold a writing workshop for these profiles; I would give guys the same advice I give my writing students, especially those who are writing personal statements.
Lesson 1: avoid cliches.
Lesson 2: use specific details to stand out from the rest.
(With my pre-med students, for example, I explain that everyone says s/he is passionate about medicine. It means nothing because everyone says it. Also, if they’re passionate, they should be able to show me that. I’m never going to go through a pile of applications and say, “Give me that student who likes science/got good grades/etc.” Here, of course, no guy stands out for being easy going, for liking to laugh, for liking to hang out with friends, for wanting to have fun, etc.)
Lesson 3: proofread!
P.S. I could have done this post with “I work hard, and I play hard,” “laid back,” and a ton of other meaningless nonsense.
Update: Just read another profile, and I discovered one of the causes of this problem. Match.com is modeling bad writing.
The guy literally cut and pasted a sample bio as his paragraph about himself. At least he was upfront about it:
“I borrowed this intro from the provided examples, but it works for me. 🙂
‘I’m a laid back person with a fun sense of humor. I’m a lover of all music and movies. I enjoy nature and can walk around a museum. I’m a sucker for someone who is compassionate and likes to get out and play and can stay in with dinner and a movie.'”
Oye!