A sixty-year-old man writes me a message . . .
Sounds like a set up for a joke.
If you find any of the following funny, I guess it is.
A sixty-year-old writes me a message. Notably, he doesn’t have any pictures of himself from the last five years posted.
His profile says he doesn’t “do dates.” We have the following conversation:
Me: Hi, [redacted]! On your profile, you say you don’t do “dates.” What does that mean, exactly?
Him: [. . . ] That’s funny, you are the second woman in two days who ask me that… First let me ready it. It’s been a long time… OK… By that I mean I don’t do the “let’s meet for coffee” or dinner or any of this nonsense. I find the idea atrocious. I know that’s what most people do, and that in itself is a good enough reason for me not to do it. I have been doing online dating (still I hate this word) for… almost 20 years. Does that sound crazy or what? LOL Not all the time… LOL. My point is.. know what I want, I know what makes sense to me, and I stick to my way of doing thing. Fuck “Dr.” Phil… LOL [. . . ] Would you like to talk on the phone?
Me: I don’t really like talking on the phone–when I do, it’s to do something practical, like set up an appointment. I’ve always been like that; my friends in high school used to tease me about it, especially since I forbade them from calling during Jeopardy! So you explained that you don’t do coffee or dinner dates–what is it that you do, exactly?
Him: LOLOL… You ask a question and so I assume you want a response… “what is it that you do, exactly?” I talk on the phone… LOL Do we have a problem? NOW… I agree with you about talking on the phone only to set up a time or something. [. . .] But before we meet I like to talk on the phone intensely. I am not interested in getting together with strangers. This is something really thought out and debated I could write a book about. Is is not something I just do… I strongly believe it is a great way to build up a strong relationship. I hope I will convince you… LOL
Me: It doesn’t sound like we’re compatible. I don’t want to spend hours on the phone. (Also, I don’t like to give out my phone number until I’m certain that I want to date the person. As I’m sure you know, women get a lot more messages than men do. If I gave out my number to every guy who thought I was cute and who wanted to to text or call, I’d be on the phone all day.) It’s not wrong that you want to do that, and I’m sure others do it your way too [. . . ] I hope you find what you’re looking for!
Him: This sounds very weird to me. Are you new to online dating? You can always use blocking on your phone… I don’t know I find that strange.
At least he didn’t LOL in the last message.
As you may have noticed, this man acknowledges that most people go out on dates rather than talking “intensely” on the phone. But he can’t at all understand that I don’t give my number to every stranger who asks for it?
Doesn’t sound like years of dating experience have managed to teach him logic or empathy.
To be fair, however, he’s right about one thing: he doesn’t “do dates,” and he certainly isn’t going on one with me.
